I miss you like the summer

to feel the warm winds caress me and tussle my hair

And when i reach out: i grasp nothing

pass my hands through you like a memory

You are in my heart,my blood my thoughts and my flesh

It's been a long time, my nothingness to you is ever present

Yet this fact does not dissuade my poor heart

I wish i had more reason to love you

something more than just being completely enamored in you

More than loving you for your actions and colors and expressions of living

Maybe if i loved you in some superficial way

something based on shallow waters

I wouldn't be here writing my millionth poem about you

Did I love you too much?

Was what i harbor inside me just too frightening, Too scary to withstand

Am I a monster?

I'm an echo of a concept i thought you adored

Is the true reality of my being unpalatable to you?

After all this time, i am drawn to the conclusion:

that i loved you too much or too violently

I love you so softly and gently

Like soft spring showers and cloudy skies and doves feathers

I love you even though you don't love me

even if you are afraid of me

I cry as softly as i love you and as longingly as when i first met you

I wish i could hurt in some angry way

In some way that wont make me love you despite it all

Maybe i am just a monster

maybe i am some tale of to be careful of what you wish for

I want you to be with me forever

i wish you would come back, if not for a moment

I will cry tears of relief when i see you

as i sink my teeth into you

Sink my teeth through your layers of sweet skin

into your soft flesh and muscle

You would cry for different reasons

but it would be so pretty

I will drag you into my domain, crush your bones in my teeth

Devour you alive slowly painfully agonizingly lovingly

I want to lap all the blood and tears and agony you produce and consume all of your being

finally, reprieve from the heartache you have left me in

I will consume you violently and wholly

I will be satisfied for a thousand lifetimes to have you as mine forever

Within my cells my flesh my blood

Now you will be with my forever

You cannot leave ever again

I am such a monster in my adorations of you

I love you too much