I hate deer.

I hate the way they hunger

sharp teeth, concealed in a too soft mouth

Bodies curved for flight, so none could believe us

None sees the teeth rip and tear through my skin

Eats the flesh off my bones

kisses me at the end of it all

That fragile body of bones and skin

a predator of kills i can no longer count

On my body on my mind on my dove-soft soul

I died over and over

In the sharp mouth of the deer

My flesh still rotting from the thought of it

We have to build our body now

From flesh, and stone, and blood, back up

Build ourselves back up

While you get to graze free in fields

Spring flower breeze

We can't even stand up right

We can't even walk correctly

Can't eat or talk like we used to

Wobble around in our makeshift body

All the way to hell and back

I believe that our pain echos

a pain of a thousands years

Condensed inside of me the moment you first bit into me

Kinetic energy through being alive and in death

and someday you'll be burned alive, too

In life or in death, or something in between

I hate deer

I watch them roam

I see them lick the blood from their teeth

like they aren't the source

I see them act graceful in the face of it

No consequence no pain just gain

I am

so small inside of me

Inside my tiny shell

Who could have done something so bad?

to someone so small?

I am

so small,

In comparison to you

I cry til i cant see myself

And i chant that to myself

Cry in the mirror of my reflection

That i stopped recognizing

I am a small bug

I am a small snail

I am a creature that only wanted to be loved

It's scary to love someone now

I'm afraid to be loved now

I told you; i have so much to say

So that now it's nothing at all

No words to describe how i am

I hate deer, so i hate you

But not in the way you want

Like you wanted me to

You never ever ever understood what i am

Who i used to be, too

There's nothing i could do

So now you won't ever win

You can't win a fight against someone

that refuses to fight back

The people in this body haunt it like a ghost from you

And we press

Notes and treats and plants

to each other's hearts

To try and rebuild our flesh you ate from us

So Some of us look different now

Some of us won't ever be the same again

I am even smaller than i was and

Sprouts are sprouting from places on them

that shouldn't be

I am slowly relearning what it means to be loved without pain

I am an angel and you are not

You won't ever understand

What pains us and frightens us

Like you did